I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
