hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
