Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
