All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
