just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
