margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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