do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
