Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
