Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
