I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
