I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
