Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
