Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
