I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
