you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
