I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cut my penus on the lid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
