Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
