how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
