bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize