is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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