Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
