They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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