Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize