you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
