you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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