So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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