Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's great music for shaving your balls
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
