I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
