They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
