You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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