Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
