Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
