How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
