the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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