You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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