i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
