i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
