i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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