I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
