I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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