I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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