you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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