He passed out mid-signature
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
