Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
