If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
