Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
