My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
