i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize