He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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