You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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