i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
