and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
