my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I enjoy the company of your penis
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
