I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
