just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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