Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your penis caused this!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
