There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
