How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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