you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
