his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
