so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
