I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
