I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
