what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
